Tuesday, 1 May 2012

The Cabin in the Woods: Good work, zombie arm!

Poster with mini reviews
So after much publicity and hype about The Cabin in the Woods being the horror of the year, I thought what the hell another horror movie under my belt but mostly 'OMG Thor's in it raaaaaaah!' ha ha ha!

Apparently the MGM company went bust and this film had been sitting on the shelf collecting dust till someone took over and released it 4 years later :p and let me tell you it did Chris Hemsworth a favour! Joss must of really liked the guy to give him the role Thor which I personally think he shone in. This film however did not do him much justice.

It stepped outside the box literally Buffy style demons and crazy notions of the world ending but it just didn't have much background or substance, I actually walked out unsatisfied. I enjoyed Lockout, John Carter hell even my gushy Bollywood more than this film.

The first 30mins were interesting but it did a merman belly crawl to a pointless ending really. Great script from Joss Whedon but even with all the witty humour, irony and even Chris dying stupidity (in ode to Thor) I was truly dissapoint. Did I mention there were zombies and this film STILL couldn't redeem itself?! The film get's points for special effects and mindless blood and gore though.

But don't be hating on me Buffy fanatics, here are some of my favourite quotes from the movie that made the film bearable:

Curt: [Jules is holding complex textbooks] What are these?
Jules: Nothing.
Curt: [angrily] No. I'm serious. What are these?
Jules: I just...
Curt: Where did you learn about this stuff?
Jules: From you, okay? I learned it from watching you!
[Runs out of the room, Curt laughs]

Mordecai: Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of -
Mordecai: Am I on speakerphone?
Hadley: No, no of course not.
Mordecai: Yes I am. I can hear the echo. Take me off. Now.
Hadley: Okay, sorry.
Mordecai: I'm not kidding. It's rude. I don't know who's in the room. 

Wiry Girl: That's not fair! I had zombies too!
Sitterson: Yes, you had "Zombies." But this is "Zombie Redneck Torture Family." Entirely separate thing. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.

Marty: I'm gonna read a book with pictures.

Marty: He's got a husband bulge.

Marty: Good work, zombie arm.

Dana: I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.
Marty: Hey, shh, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.

Marty: [whispers] Puppeteers...
Dana: Puppeteers?
Marty: Pop Tarts? Did you say you have Pop Tarts?   

 Marty: (points at wolf head) Go make out with that moose!

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